Who would you refer to as your friends? Is it the person who spends the most time with you? Or the person who’s always there in times of trouble? Is that a real good definition of a friend or only a construed meaning of what a real friend ought to be?
And that won’t change the response you have inside your own thoughts. What do you truly feel a real friend is, what do you believe yourself a true friend to be.
Reason why I bring this up because, someone I once thought to be a good friend of mine, when I really paid close attention also, wasn’t a very good friend to me. My definition of a friend is somebody who has similar views and beliefs close to your own. Someone you can relate to and that you think understands how you feel.
To further elaborate on this, a friend should be a give-and-take kind of relationship, and not solely giving or taking, but it must be equal on both sides of the spectrum. Without this equilibrium someone has been taken advantage of, where regrettably many mistake a friendship to be and believe that is how it should be.
Additionally a friend should be one to encourage and support a friend’s decision, if they know and believe in their friend’s choice. There’ll be times where friends will disagree, which is okay, everyone has the right to choose for themselves. However, to still believe in them, even though they don’t particular care for the cause, is exactly what a friendship is about.
In my situation I had a friend, let’s name him Bob to protect his name here. Whom was going through some challenging times, his girlfriend at the time of 3 years wasn’t treating him like crap, little did I know he was contributing too, but I felt bad for him and befriended him and helped him out. I let him stay with us and my family when he finally decided to leave her and stood up for him. I soon found out how much of friend he had been when he came in to live with us.
At first things seemed good, our agreement was for him to get back on his feet and find a place of his own. I know he had to recoup some funds out of his job prior to getting a place so I knew it might be a few months or so before he could make some substantial steps forward. A couple of months passed and it appeared like nothing more had happened, he had been making himself at home, and not much progress on trying to move forward. Started making him pay rent to help things rate along, and cover his expenses he has accrued while in our home.
And this time, we were further from being connected than when we were not in the same household. Come to find out he’s been spending his time building another relationship after he emerged from the one he’s been in. Wanted the best for him, but advised it may not be the perfect time to begin starting another relationship.
So fast forward, and Bob and his new girlfriend were living with us!!! I don’t understand how it came about, but it did. When you believe you’re friends you’re sometimes blinded for their manipulated ways. Though it was short before they got their own place together it happened.
To direct you to the current, Bob and his new woman, who I’ll call Bertha, awakened, and took all of his stuff. Despite the fact that I warned him about the connection to start with, I was there for him. Now to back track a bit I got involved with my own business and brought him along too, because I knew it might help him as it’s helped us.
Now I know that it seems as if I have drifted far from class here on whom our real friends are, but this example explains more than any words I could write, through personal experience. At the moment I realized he wasn’t my friend, since he didn’t encourage me, but more importantly he did not believe he would ever get out of the 9 to 5 rat race that they most people today believe is the only option. I didn’t realize how much of a friend he was not until I myself started to grow personally.
I say all this to say, our friends are the ones who beliefs amounts match up, and they are not constantly taking, but giving and sharing. One who believes in you for better, and has attained it their selves, and gives you advice to be successful too. One who can raise you up, and see things for you until you can see it. One that can help you understand your full potential and allow you to realize you can have all you desire.
And friend, if you can relate to this story, and have gone through something similar, than I would like you to know you have a friend in me. Although I don’t know you, or may never meet you, I believe in you. If you are looking for a means to do this for yourself than I will be more than happy to help you get there. Or if you are already on your way, keep going. The only way you could possibly fail is if you stop.