Even though one will have their own life to lead while they are on this planet, it doesn’t mean they will actually have their own life.
When this takes place, they could end up being seen as someone who is a selfless human being. Therefore, one will be neglecting themselves however they will still get a reasonable number of positive feedback from other people.
This comes down to is it is often believed it is a terrible thing for someone to concentrate on their particular needs and a good thing to focus on other people’s needs. This is then something that’s black and white and that’s all there is to it.
Consequently, it is going to be simple for the decades to go by and for one to not come into contact with anyone who’ll tell them that their behaviour is unhealthy. Now, this isn’t to say that every part of them will be happy with what is happening; what it is likely to imply is that the part of them that isn’t happy will typically be ignored.
They might be in a relationship or they may be single, but there’s always going to be people in their life who want their help.
If they are not in a relationship, they may have more time for other folks, but then again, this may not matter.
When they’re about others, they could normally come across as happy and easy going; however, this could be radically different to what they are like in their own company. In this time, they could wind up feeling down and even gloomy.
They may have come to conclude that it is due to a chemical imbalance, as an example.
Business as Usual
Ultimately, the pain which they experience when they are by themselves will be there to let them know that they’re living in the wrong way. Yet, unless they listen to themselves, it won’t be possible for them to make use of this guidance.
They will continue to put other people’s needs above their own and to put their own life on hold in the process. So, even if they do have a satisfying career, for instance, they are unlikely to do as well as they could.
One way of looking at this kind of behaviour would be to state that this enables one to prevent their own life.
This is then analogous to how a person can stop comfort eating when they no longer feel unhappy, for instance.
What one is very likely to find, if they were to no longer act in this way, is that they begin to feel uncomfortable. If they were to go a bit deeper, they may see they don’t feel comfortable using their own needs.
Being there for others may then be an indirect way for them to fulfil their own needs.
Along with neglecting their own needs, they may also find that their behavior rarely has a positive effect on others. The cause of this is that they can do things for others that they should not do.
Through trying to rescue or save others, it will make it tougher for them to take responsibility for their own life. It may be more accurate to say that they’ll be helping to keep some of these people where they are in a dependent state.
If one was to look back on what happened during the beginning of their life, they might realize that this was a time when they had to concentrate on their caregivers needs. Their primary purpose is to serve their caregivers, making them lose touch with their particular needs.
This would have set them up to feel that their worth was based on what they did compared to who they were. Pleasing their caregivers could have become the main way for them to receive positive feedback.
The years would have passed, which could have changed their look, but they would have continued to behave in precisely the same way. And, Instead of trying to please their parents, they would have attempted to please other people.
For them to change their behaviour, they will need to change what they believe in their particular needs and they might want to grieve their unmet childhood needs.